He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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