it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
