Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
