shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
