like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
