I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
