Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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