I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
