I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
