he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's just like the Real World with babies
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
