Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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