Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
