Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
