I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think people are normalizing furries
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
