You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
