some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
