I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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