i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
