I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
