Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
