have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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