i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
