I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She bit a glass in half.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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