btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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