What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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