FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
there is glitter all over my balls
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