He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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