I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
