dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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