why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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