Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You can't just leave with hair like that
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i think im in europe. pls send help
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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