Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He shit in the fireplace
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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