My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pants are for mortals
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
