I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
