and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So much rum. So many feels.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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