Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
