If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
