tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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