What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Even my vagina gasped.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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