Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
