idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
