Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
