The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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