We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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