im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
