JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
