none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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