Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
