Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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