Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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